As a sleep consultant, I hear the word “regression” a lot. If a baby doesn’t sleep well for a couple nights, parents inevitably start dropping the “R” word. There is a lot of hype about 8-month regressions, 9-month regressions, teething regressions, growth spurt regressions…you get the picture. Other parents see these things as a hiccup in the normal routine cause by circumstances out of their control.
The four-month regression, however, is the real deal. It’s permanent, and for some babies, it’s a doozy. Have you ever checked out a “mom group” on Facebook? You’ll probably see mention of the four-month sleep regression on every second post.
When talking about the four-month sleep regression, it’s important to understand why it’s happening. So, let’s dive in, starting with the science of sleep.
It’s a common misconception that sleep is an on-or-off situation. Either you’re asleep, or you’re awake. However, there are different stages of sleep that make up the “sleep cycle.” We go through the full cycle several times per night.
Stage 1 is the initial stage of fading in and out. You may feel yourself drifting off, but you don’t feel you’ve fallen asleep. My husband is notorious for this when he’s watching a movie. He’ll nod off, and I’ll shake him awake and tell him to go to bed, and his response is always, “I wasn’t sleeping!”
Stage 2 is the first “true sleep” stage. If you woke someone up from sleep in stage two, they would actually admit they had been sleeping. If you take a power nap and wake up groggy, it’s probably because you went deeper than stage two.
Stage 3 is deep sleep, sometimes referred to as “slow wave” sleep. This is restorative sleep, where our body repairs and rejuvenates the immune system, energy stores, muscle tissues, and sparks development and growth.
Stage 4 is REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. A lot of brain activity happens during REM, and this stage is very important for memory consolidation. Most of our dreaming happens during REM.
Here’s the important part: once we’ve finished going through all the stages, we have a very brief awakening (or come very close to waking up) and then start the cycle all over again. We usually don’t even remember waking up, and we keep cycling through the stages of sleep until morning.
So why is this important? Well, newborns only have two stages of sleep. Deep sleep and REM, and it’s about 50/50 for the amount of time spent in each stage during sleep. Right around when they turn 4 months though, their sleep cycle reorganizes and matures, and they now go through the same four stages that us adults do.
So now, instead of spending 50% of their sleep in REM, it becomes closer to 25%. REM sleep is a lighter stage of sleep, but not nearly as light as stages 1 & 2. With more time spent in lighter sleep stages, the likelihood for baby to wake up increases.
Also, when we finish a sleep cycle and start another, we are usually able to slide right into another cycle after a brief awakening. However, a four-month old baby lacks the critical thinking skills to know that they are safe in bed, and it’s not time to wake up yet.
All babies are different, and some aren’t affected by the 4-month sleep regression at all. But for those that struggle with it, here’s why: baby has realized they are in a different scenario than they fell asleep in, so they naturally freak out. This stimulates the fight-or-flight response, and now we have a baby who will probably not go back to sleep without a lot of reassurance that everything is okay. The good news is that this is usually temporary; some babies will get through it within a couple of weeks, while others may need more time to adjust to their new sleep needs.
Now, this is where people tend to get confused. The goal of getting past the four-month sleep regression is not to prevent or avoid baby from waking up. Not only is this wrong, it is also impossible. Waking up is completely natural, even for us adults. The goal is to help baby adjust now that their sleep has been reorganized.
The major contributing factor to the four-month sleep regression is that up until this point, baby has been helped to sleep with a “prop”. Either with a pacifier, rocking, breastfeeding, or anything else along these lines.
Before the regression, baby spent way more time in deep sleep, so having sleep props wasn’t an issue. Now, however, these props are still helpful for getting baby into that initial “nodding off” stage, but the lack of them when baby wakes up means that they might need help to get back to sleep. Fight-or-flight is cued, crying begins, and parents find themselves having to help their little one back to sleep. For some babies, this isn’t the case! They can fall asleep with a sleep prop and still sleep the whole night through, no problem.
However, if you’re here reading this post, chances are your little one is having a hard time with this regression. My baby struggled with it too, so I understand how hard it is. The good news for you is that this is not a regression at all. A regression is defined as “reversion to an earlier mental or behavioural level,” which is actually the opposite of what your little one is experiencing. It should really be called the four-month sleep progression. Their sleep cycles have matured, and their sleep needs have changed.
So, now that you understand what’s really going on, let’s move on to the big question: how can you help your baby adjust?
The first thing you should do is make your baby’s room dark. And I mean really dark. You might think it’s dark enough, or maybe baby will be afraid of the dark so it will be comforting to have some light come through the window.
Nope.
Newborns and babies are not afraid of the dark. They don’t have the mental capacity to understand what darkness even is yet. They are, however, responsive to light. Light stimulates the brain to believe it’s time for activity and alertness. Consequently, more daytime hormone is secreted, making it even harder to get your little one back to sleep.
So keep that room dark. Buy fancy blackout blinds or use cardboard or garbage bags. It really doesn’t matter, as long as it is pitch black in there.
The next thing you should do is buy a sound machine. Noise can be a hugely contributing factor to short naps and early morning wakeups. Whether it’s someone ringing the doorbell, or the dog warning you that the squirrels are back and ready to attack, or something falling on the floor three rooms away. Your baby is now spending much more time in a lighter sleep stage, so noises can potentially startle them and cause a wakeup.
And you might be thinking, “Wait, isn’t white noise a prop?” Well, the perfectly non-confusing answer is kind of, but not really. Yes, it will help your baby sleep, but no, it doesn’t require you to go into the room to reset it or wind it up. It’s just there, and it can stay on as long as baby is sleeping. When it comes to white noise, the pros vastly outweigh the cons. If you’re really worried about it, you can buy a sound machine that has a battery backup in case of a power outage.
The next step to helping baby adjust is having a solid bedtime routine. Don’t underestimate the importance of routines for babies and children. Try to limit the routine to about 4 or 5 steps, and I recommend not ending it with a feed. If you do, the risk of baby nodding off while feeding is much higher, and this has the potential to create the dreaded sleep association we talked about before.
The whole routine should take 20 – 30 minutes. Any shorter and it’s not enough time to signal to baby that it’s bedtime, and any longer and you run the risk of them getting overtired or falling asleep during the routine. The most important part of the routine is the last part – being that baby should go into their crib while they’re still awake.
If baby is getting fussy before bedtime, it’s probably too late. Although newborns are fine with a later bedtime, once that sleep cycle has matured, bedtime should ideally be sometime between 7 and 8 pm. Just keep in mind that 4-month-olds shouldn’t be awake any longer than 2 hours at a time.
You will deal with all sorts of regressions as your little one grows. Things such as teething, illnesses, growth spurts…all of these things can cause some rough nights. When it comes to the four-month “progression”, you’ll be pleased to know that it is a one-time thing. Once your baby adjusts to this, they will have moved into the same sleep cycle they’ll follow for the rest of their life. Four wonderful stages of sleep cycled through multiple times a night.
Just remember that all babies are different. Maybe a friend of yours was going through the same thing, but their baby sailed through it and is sleeping wonderfully again, while you are still stuck helping your baby back to sleep all hours of the night. This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with your baby, it just means they need a little extra help to figure it out.
Also, keep in mind that there are a lot of people (or businesses) who will tell you that your baby will never sleep well again if they don’t learn how to sleep independently. This is fear mongering. If you don’t want to sleep train your baby, then don’t. No one should be trying to convince you to do anything by using fear. Your baby will be just fine regardless if you teach them independent sleep skills or not.
If you are interested in change and you have tried all the tips listed above and you are still struggling, I’m happy to help in any way that I can. Send me an email or book a call here and we can work on a personalized plan for your baby.