“Night weaning” is a common phrase you’ll hear among friends with babies. If you’re wondering when to do it, I have two answers for you.
First thing’s first: speak to your doctor. We want to make sure that your little one is healthy and gaining weight as expected before pulling night feeds. If your baby is over six months old and the doctor approves pulling night feeds, go ahead and do it.
But I’m sure that’s not the answer you’re looking for. A quick Google search could have given you that information. If it was really that easy, you would’ve done it by now.
The question you probably need to be answered is not when, but rather how to night wean.
If you had stopped feeding your baby at night, and they just accepted it immediately and began sleeping through the night, you probably wouldn’t be here looking for answers. You’d be sleeping peacefully all night long, and you’d be telling all your friends how rested you are and how parenting is so easy. Pro tip: don’t do this. Your friends may be slightly resentful.
Some babies actually do just start sleeping through the night when they’re ready. But if you’re here reading this, chances are your baby isn’t one of them. Don’t worry; you’re not alone! Dropping night feeds can be a tricky endeavour for a lot of babies.
So, real talk. If your baby is supposedly ready to drop all night feeds, why do they continue to wake up demanding food?
Well, that’s probably how they get back to sleep. Or, they’re so accustomed to waking up at night for a feed that they keep doing it out of habit, not for caloric need.
As a sleep consultant, feeding/nursing is the most common sleep prop I see. Now, just because a baby uses a sleep prop doesn’t mean they will automatically be a “bad sleeper”. Some babies can be fed to sleep at night and still sleep the whole night through. Other babies, however, are not so lucky. They may need to be fed again when they finish a sleep cycle and wake up. Sometimes, this awakening is very brief and they slide right back into sleep. Other times – usually when their sleep pressure is lower – they wake and find themselves unable to get back to sleep on their own, so they cry out for the thing they think they need in order to fall asleep again.
So, if you feed your baby to sleep at bedtime, and they wake up multiple times per night, this is where the problem stems from.
And for many of you, you may say, “I don’t do that! I lay him down in bed awake, and he falls asleep on his own without any props, but he wakes up twice a night for food!”
If this is the case for you, and you don’t feed your baby to sleep for the middle of the night wakings either, then it sounds to me like you have a habitual eater on your hands. Some babies fall into the trap of thinking they need food in the middle of the night, even though they don’t anymore. If they continue to get night feeds, it just encourages them to keep waking at night. Many six-month-olds will be ready to drop night feeds, but if not, they should not need more than one night feed unless there is a medical reason. If your baby is nine months old and still taking night feeds, it’s time to stop (again, unless a doctor has told you not to). At this age, it is most definitely a habit, not a caloric need.
Stopping nighttime feeds is usually tough. It is almost always met with a lot of protest. The good news is, if your baby goes down to sleep without any props, they have some strong sleep skills, so it won’t take them long to implement these in the middle of the night.
So, back to the beginning: how do you do this? Cold turkey. Stop all night feeds tonight, and don’t offer one again. Slowly weaning baby off night feeds will just confuse them and make the whole process harder than it has to be.
If you’re not interested in sleep training, but you still want to stop night feeds, find a different method of soothing them during the night. Rocking, patting, singing, a pacifier…If you don’t want to be feeding them at night anymore, then simply don’t make it an option.
Stay consistent, and it will get better very soon!